Photo by Tim Wilson
There is an interesting phenomenon in coaching which I call the ‘not just yet’ paradox': the reason a potential client considers the possibility of coaching is often the reason they do not go ahead with it.
Here is an example. An employee feels unable to articulate their contribution clearly and with conviction to the extent that they are being passed over when it comes to promotion. They know that they need to be doing something different that involves countering feelings of not being good enough
In our initial meeting to consider the possibility of working together, I ask them why it’s important. With further questioning we formulate the key elements of their challenge, what it is costing them for this to continue and the benefits of how things would change if they learn new habits and ways of being.
I share with them how I can help and give examples of the many clients I have successfully helped in the past to trust, who they are, the contribution they can’t help making and to be comfortable about sharing that. They are enrolled and excited about the possibility of being more confident and assertive. I tell them how much I would enjoy partnering with them and supporting them when the going gets touch. Then we look at working together and although, obviously this is not true of all potential coachees, with a small percentage the ‘not just yet’ paradox’ appears. They tell me they have to pay for a fitted kitchen or their mother is poorly or they are in a new job and it doesn’t work to undertake a coaching assignment right now.
In the past I would respect their decision and leave it at that but last week I had an ‘ah ha’ moment. These people were coming to me in the expectation that, as a professional who knows about these things, I will not only open the door to coaching but also be willing to escort them through it, not giving up on their potential as easily as they are. What was I thinking?
The result is that I have taken myself on. The next person who comes to have a coaching conversation with me will get 110% commitment to surface the possibility they are seeking and I will not give up on them until they are clear that coaching is not for them. That is the least they can expect from me.
If you are frustrated by your own inertia and really want to push through to a life that fits who you are, call me and set up an appointment now.